Lauren Winner on Virgins

Here's why I like Lauren Winner:

Last night I gave a talk on sex and chastity at Furman University in Greenville, South Carolina. It was a remarkable experience – I enjoyed meeting many fabulous students, who asked great, great questions. One question went something like “What do you have to say about a virgin marrying someone who is not a virgin?” I stumbled through an answer as best I could, and then went on to the next question.

Later, while I was signing books and mingling with students, a young woman came up to me and, very casually, offered this amazing insight: “You know, about that question someone asked you about a virgin marrying someone who isn’t a virgin? Well, when I heard that question, I thought, That’s exactly what Jesus did.’”

(sorry to reproduce this in full, but it was such a short post I couldn't find a way to snip it down to a meaningful soundbite). If you like what she says, click on over to her blog and let her know...

Hospitality in the Suburbs

David Fitch shares some timely thought on practicing hospitality in the suburbs. For those of us who are interested in planting or revitalizing churches in non-urban settings, this is particularly relevent. Here's a snippet:

...the suburbs are built for the idolization of the affectionate family as the end and purpose of all life.

The problem? When the family becomes another form of life separated from God and the church, it too becomes another form of self-imploding narcissicism focused on consuming more stuff for the perfect home, and contract services to make home life easier.

There is nothing but contrived affection left to keep the home together. And our children who learn they are the center of this universe from us parents actually develop character that believes “they actually are” the center of the universe. Years later America is left with families split by divorce, kids leaving in rebellion, and millions on various drugs to relieve the emptiness due the loss of purpose left as the idolized family turns out to be a myth apart from its mission in Christ.

But I digress here off the issue of hospitality. There is a real problem here in the spreading of the gospel for Life on the Vine and other emerging churches who live under the imposed conditions of the hostile suburbs. If hospitality is to be a central way of life for the spreading of the gospel, the alienation of the suburbs is a condition of our exile we must overcome. ...

I'd strongly encourage you to read the whole thing over here (HT: Scot McKnight).

Gay Pagans Leading Worship

So today in class, we actually had an interesting (and true) case study:

Bob is not a Christian, but he's been hired by the church to play piano for Sunday worship - it's a small congregation and there are no resident pianists. Bob is an excellent musician, competant, and the people really like him. He has had a very positive influence on the singing and praise. Then, you hear rumblings through the grapevine - rumor has it that Bob is gay. What do you do?

Needless to say, this made for some very interesting discussion. One of the things that interested me was how many folks could live with the fact that he was an unbeliever, but felt that his homosexuality disqualified him from this role. Maybe it's just the evangelistic church planter in me, but I actually see this as a tremendous opportunity for sharing the gospel, not just to Bob, but to others just like him and even to those who are already believers. Let me see if I can explain...

In Leadership Next, Eddie Gibbs makes a very interesting comment about the boundaries in the context of postmodern community:

Authentic community begins with the frank recognition that loose connections are not robust enough to provide cohesion. There must be strong bonds of mutual commitment that will endure times of strain and upheaval. Unconditional commitments are not made within alliances of convenience...

Until we find a home and establish a family identity, authentic community is unlikely to develop. The covenant community provides a context within which individuals can find affirmation and learn to truly forgive. It is an environment of giving as well as receiving. In community we also hold each other accountable, because affirmation that lacks discernment and integrity is destructive to the other person.

Authentic community has porous boundaries. Margaret Wheatley and Myron Kellner-Rogers provide hepful insights into the way boundaries function in living systems. Rather than being self-protective walls, boundaries become the place of meeting and exchange. We usually think of these "edges" as the means of defining separateness: what's inside and what's outside. But in living systems, boundaries are something quote different. They are where new relationships take form, and important place of exchange and growth.

-Leadership Next, p99

I think Gibbs is on to something here, and I think it applies to our case study. For me, the fact that Bob is gay is actually secondary - it's certainly not unimportant, but it's not primary either. If anything, it may actually create an opportunity for a much deeper dialogue with the gay community. Let me see if I can illustrate...

Contrary to most of those in our group in class, I can envision certain scenarios where I actually would seek out an unbeliever to help us in worship (probably not as a “leader” but certainly as an “instrumentalist”). To me, this presents a very natural entry point to conversation – about what we value, about what he values. I would want to meet regularly with Bob to help explain a Christian understanding of worship - "What are we trying to accomplish here anyway? Why?”

What I mean by this, is that I wouldn't overlook the fact that he is an unbeliever. Rather, that provides a convenient point of dialogue - he is a piano player (we are not), but we are Christians (and he is not). So he needs to help us understand what he can do, and we need to help him understand what we are trying to do - lead people in worship of God. Which means we need to talk about what worship is, about who God is, about what he values.

Now, taking this approach, the fact that he is gay simply provides one more avenue to discuss the differences in our value systems. The fact that we need him gives us a reason to work together. The fact that we believe very different things gives us a reason to discuss our differences.

So then, his homosexuality provides a great opportunity for me to say something like this:

“What do you think, Bob? Because we want to be faithful to Jesus and Paul, we believe that certain actions (like your homosexuality) are morally wrong. However, we also believe that God does not accept us because we are straight - heck, we are still struggling sinners in areas that are just as morally wrong (like my anger and pride).

So what makes the difference? Scripture tells us the only reason God accepts us is when we identify with Christ through repentance (acknowledging we are wrong) and faith (putting all our confidence in him to make us right). That's our identity as a community of Christ followers.

Of course, we recognize you may still be in process. Now, we want to emphasize in our worship that there are rights and wrongs. But we also want to emphasize that people in process just like you are welcome in our midst, even before they have it all figured out.

So your being gay does not preclude you from helping us worship by using your God given gifts of music. There are some things you probably can't do as an unbeliever (like lead us in prayer), but there are many things you can do. That is an important part of our message.

At the same time, we are concerned for you – not because you are gay and we want to change you, but of where you stand in your relationship with Christ.

Because we care, we want to encourage you to consider Christ, because he is the center of our identity, he is at the core of what makes us community, we would love to have you really belong. So we want you to feel welcome.

But because we care, we also want you to feel the tension that Christ brings against all of us as sinners, when we refuse to acknowledge his claims on our lives.

So that's what we want to model in our worship. How are we doing? What would your gay friends think? Would you be willing to invite them? Even if you never become a Christian, you might still be able to help us figure out how to articulate this message better...”

See how his unbelief and gayness creates opportunity for dialogue? Now, I'm not saying that I would necessarily do this in every case – I think there is a tremendous need for wisdom in these matters – but I think there may well be cases where this kind of thing might not only be permissible, it might well be the best way to contextualize our faith to a pluralistic unbelieving world.

Ok, so that was my take. I'll put my flame retardent hazard suit on and let you fire away now...

(and I'd really love it if someone gay could chime in w/ their perspective on this)

Uncomfortable People

SLD regular Foolish Sage has a post worth reading, about Reverend Andrew and Don the Vet.

I haven't thought about Don the Vet in years. It's not a pleasant memory. But it came back to me in a rush as I was desperately trying to break off my bizarre conversation with The Reverend Andrew.

I realized that not much had changed in thirty years. When confronted by a person like this, my impulse was to try to "give him the gospel" and get away.

I'm sure that at least in some small part of my motivation there was genuine concern for the spiritual well-being of Don and Andrew, but I'm all too aware that my overriding goal was to just make them shut up. I couldn't deal with that much reality, with people who wear their battered souls in front of you, as visible as the stained army jackets on their backs

Do yourself a favor and check the whole thing out...

So What About Homosexuality

There is an interesting discussion going on over on Scot McKnight's blog about homosexuality - part 1 and part 2. Here's a snippet to whet your appetite:

According to the Bible, sin is both a human condition and human behavior against the known will of God. As I explain in Embracing Grace, humans are special — they are Eikons of God who, by act, become cracked Eikons. The work of God through the gospel is to restore cracked Eikons. And it is precisely here that an important element comes into play in any discussion: the “crackedness” of Eikons is hyper-relational. The fundamental nature and impact of sin are that human relationships are distorted in four directions: with God, with self, with others, and with the world. Sin itself is hyper-relational distortion.

The implication of this is that we are all messed up to one degree or another: we are cracked Eikons. This means our relationships with God, self, others, and the world are not what they are supposed to be. And the gospel is the work of God to get those relationships back in sync: thus both sin and gospel are hyper-relational. Any biblical discussion of homosexuality must engage with humans as cracked in hyper-relationality.

I'm not going to say (yet) what I think of the content of Scot's argument, but I want to point out the way he is arguing - he is attempting to take a subject which typically devolves in a very predictable fashion (along well worn ideological ruts), and tackle it from a different angle, deferring the tension points for later in the discussion. I think this is good because it extends the dialogue, (rather than terminating it), and I think there's a lot to be gleaned from the discussions on both of these posts as well...

I'll say more on this later, but for now I just wanted to point it out. Go on, give it a read!

New Perspective on Sidewalk Art

How's this for a whole new perspective on sidewalk art? This is a great example of the type of art created by UK artist Julian Beever - 2-D artwork that looks 3-D when viewed from the proper perspective. Very, very, cool. Would you like to see more? Try here, here, and here for starters. (HT: GB)

Announcing the Missoula Project

Seeing as how we haven't actually announced this yet, I'd like to mention that our Missoula Project site is officially live. As many of you already know, there's been a link to it in the sidebar for a couple of months now, even though the site itself was still under construction.

If you'd like to see what we've been working on, click on over and check out the Vista & Vision brochure that's on its way to the printers...

And for those of you who are wondering, "What the heck is the Missoula Project?" - well, it's a church planting effort which Ryan and I will be leading in Fall 2006, in Missoula, MT. We're very excited to be a part of what God is doing there, and if you'd like to know more about it, the Missoula Project blog is the place to start.

The Lighter Side of Life in Montana

As regular readers know by now, from time to time (usually Fridays) we enjoy sharing humorous glimpses of life in Montana. Things like getting the yearly Christmas tree (Master Aegidius) or this: the 'ol deer on the hood outside the truckstop (yeah, it's not really Montana... but it could be!) [HT: Molly]

(Note: if for some reason you can't see the video, you might try clicking here to watch it.)

Saturday Night Gale

It's Saturday night, and I know exactly what I want to do this evening: sit on the couch and watch football with my kids. God, however, has something else in mind.

Outside, the weather is deteriorating rapidly - there's a storm front moving in. The wind is howling, temperature is dropping, and the steady rain that has been falling all day is quickly turning to snow. It is frigid. But inside, it's perfect, with a hot cup of coffee and Denver moving the ball against a stingy Patriot defense.

Then, a few minutes after 9, the doorbell rings, and everything changes. There on my porch stands a rain-soaked woman, desparately sobbing: "I need to call the police, I need to call the police! Please help me..." And then she dissolves in tears.

The world turns twilight in the blink of an eye. She is my neighbor, from half a block down. I have seen her a few times before, spoken to her once or twice. But that's it. I don't remember her name, she doesn't remember mine. All she knows is that my wife gives her peanut brittle every Christmas. "And I knew you was a pastor, so I came to your door."

What is a pastor supposed to do, when a strange woman knocks on your door in the night? They don't teach you this in seminary. I suspect there are some things you learn only by living. Trial and error, playing it by ear. Faith.

I don't know what to do, to say. So I ask her in, I ask her what has happened.

She and her husband of 15 years have had a fight. He has kicked her out and won't let her back in the house. She's been standing in the rain since 7:30. She's already called 911 twice, but no one has showed up. I lend her my phone and she tries again.

And then we wait. Sitting in my kitchen. What do you say? What do you do? How do you counsel someone in distress? Are you supposed to share the Gospel? Or just sit there and listen? I have no idea, and so I ask her if I can pray for her.

One of the things I have learned - in times of crisis, you need not ask whether someone believes in God. Just ask if you can pray for them. I have never had anyone say "No" or "Oh, I don't believe..." or "Why bother?" In times of crisis, there are no atheists. She was no exception.

I asked. She said yes. And so I prayed. Right there in the kitchen. And she thanked me profoundly.

And then we sat some more. Every so often she'd ask if the police had showed up. No dice.

Finally at 10 PM I call 911 myself. The operator is disinterested. "Oh. Hmm. Looks like an officer was already over there."

That is crap. My son has been standing out on the porch in the snow for the last hour. There has been no squad car on our street. I request them to send another officer, and then we go back to waiting.

This goes on for another 45 minutes. I ask about her family (she doesn't have much). I ask if her husband hit her (she says no, but he threw a mattress and she was scared). She says he yells at her a lot. She's really concerned about her 8 year old daughter who's still in the house with him.

I find myself wondering if she's been drinking. Is she telling the truth? Is she strung out? It's hard to say, and so at one point I actually walk down the street and knock on her door. He comes to the window, but he will only speak to me through the glass. He certainly looks put together. But he is not at all glad to see me.

"Who are you?" He is very suspicious.

I tell him my name, that I live down the street, that his wife came to my house.

"Tell her to call the cops." Did I just hear him right?

"You want her to call the cops?" I am very puzzled here. His face is emotionless, but the tone of his words is scary.

"Tell her to call the cops." That is all he will say.

So I go home. Still no police. So I call again at 10:30. Marilyn gets home from her concert and takes over in the kitchen, giving her a bowl of soup, lending her a listening ear. Marilyn is really good at listening. I take my turn out on the porch, and pray, pray, pray.

What IS someone supposed to do in this situation? Do I encourage her to go home? Do I offer to let her stay in my place? Do I keep calling the police? What DOES one have to do to get them to show up anyway???

At 10:45 she is tired and exhausted. She insists that she wants to press charges, but she has given up hope on the police arriving. "They're not coming, are they? I've got to go home to him, don't I?"

I don't know what to say. I tell her I'll help her do whatever she wants - if she wants me to keep calling, I'll do that. If she wants to go home, I'll walk her back.

We walk back. And we knock on the door. And her husband makes her stand there for 3 or 4 minutes before he finally unlocks it and lets her in. And then I walk back to my house wondering what I should be doing. I'm not sure if there are any right answers in situations like these.

At 11:15, an officer finally shows up at my door. And to his credit, he was very interested - listened to what I knew, was concerned about the sitation, volunteered to walk down and check on her. He even apologized that it took so long to get there. "We've been swamped tonight... shootings, accidents, stuff like that." He seemed like a good man, with a very hard job.

And that was it. I have no idea where things stand. I have no idea who was in the right or wrong. I have no idea WHY God brought this woman to my door. But I know that God brought her, and I'm glad he did.

If you think about her, please pray for Dianne. She and her husband need your prayers. And pray for the pastors and policemen and counselors and all the rest who get to deal with the brokenness of this world far too often. And pray for the church, that she would be a lighthouse and a beacon in the midst of these Saturday night gales.

At the end of the day, maybe that's all he's really asking us to do - to put our hands to the plow, and pray, and then trust that he will work it out. I'm still not entirely sure. I still have a lot to learn.

more from bonhoeffer

i don't know what has gotten in to me lately. i've blogged more in the last 4 days than all of 2005 combined! bonhoeffer nails community on the head again on page 76 of his book, life together.

The person who comes into a fellowship because he is running away from himself is misusing it for the sake of diversion, no matter how spiritual this diversion may appear. He is really not seeking community at all, but only distraction which will allow him to forget his loneliness for a brief time, the very alienation that creates the deadly isolation of man. The disintegration of communication and all genuine experience, and finally resignation and spiritual death are the result of such attempts to find a cure.

then on page 110-111 and this is powerful stuff so read carefully!

The pious fellowship permits no one to be a sinner. So everybody must conceal his sin from himself and from the fellowship. We dare not be sinners. Many Christians are unthinkably horrified when a real sinner is suddenly discovered among the righteous. So we remain alone with our sin, living in lies and hypocrisy. The fact is we are sinners!

But it is the grace of the Gospel, which is so hard for the pious to understand, that it confronts us with the truth and says: You are a sinner, a great, desperate sinner; now come as the sinner that you are, to God who loves you. He wants you as you are; He does not want anything from you, a sacrifice, a work; He wants you alone.

why do we need community? bonhoeffer says succinctly, "Christ became our Brother in order to help us. Through him our brother has become Christ for us in the power and authority of the commission Christ has given to him."

being like god - part 2

this brings us back to the original question. what was the original final destiny that was purposed by god for adam? evangelicals have tended to think that heaven will simply be a return to the garden (though the book of revelation clearly says there is a different ending - we end in a city...in community!). moreover, we have tended to think that had adam obeyed perfectly in the garden that it would have been an eternal life in the garden.

however scripture clues us in to a different intention for adam. first in luke 4.1-13 (the wilderness encounter of jesus) god had just made the pronouncement that jesus was his son whom he was well pleased (3.22) followed by a geneology of jesus in verses 24-38. the last line of the geneology is adam, "the son of god." luke 4 then picks up the wilderness encounter where jesus overcomes sin in a way that adam failed, thus securing his place as god's true son - the second, last and true adam.

paul picks up on this in 1 corinthians 15.42ff.

45 Thus it is written, "The first man Adam became a living being"; the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. 46 But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. 47 The first man was from the earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. 48 As was the man of dust, so also are those who are of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 49 Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.

although a bit difficult to weed through, paul is saying that the physical adam came first, but was always intended to be followed by a second, spiritual adam. adam always had a bigger purpose than dwelling in the garden. as it was for adam it is for us - we are physical, but because christ accomplished what the first adam could not by overcoming sin, the one who believes in christ shall be identified with him as the man of heaven instead of identified with the first adam - the man of dust.

being like god - part 1

brian posted an interesting comment to my post on community that i wanted to pick up on in a new post, rather than changing the subject in that thread of comments. brian, i'm expecting some comments from you on this one! because of the length of this post and the theological meatiness, i am splitting it in to 2.

here's what he said...

This brings up another interesting idea I've been working through in the last year: Is knowing the difference between good and evil a bad thing? (And does responsibility come with it?) If not, then might God have let Adam and Eve eat of the tree after they were mature enough to handle it?

the reason this particularly comment struck me is the reference to the garden of eden and the original final destiny that was purposed by god for adam and eve. i think to answer brian's question directly about whether or not god might have let them eat of the tree when they were mature enough to handle it is yes and no.

what if the tree is only symbolic of what adam and eve already knew? what i mean is that god had told adam and eve what was good, "eat any tree you want" and what was evil, "don't eat this one." adam and eve knew right and wrong. this is what makes the serpent's words so tempting. in essence, he questioned god's word, "did god really say..." this is really the crux of every temptation we face today - whether or not we will believe god's word.

when god created adam and eve, he created them in his image and they were to rule over creation on his behalf. with respect to creation, man was god. with respect to god, man was servant. you see this in the psalms when kings are referred to as gods. this is further illustrated when god presents adam and eve with their first set of clothing - animal skins. this is god's way of saying, "you were like god, but now you are like the animals." there is dual purpose to clothing them with animal skins - to cover their guilt resulting from awareness to nakedness and to put them in a new economy.

(i could easily rabbit trail here on the theme of covering and how god is always the one who must provide a covering for guilt and ultimately does it finally through the blood of Christ, but that would be a post in itself. nevertheless it is a glorious theme to meditate upon.)

Hellroaring Plateau in Winter

Remember this shot from last summer?
Here's what it looked like at sunrise last Saturday...

You can visit my brother Nicholas's blog to get the skinny...

The Church and My Identity

This quote is somewhat related to Ryan's post about community. As humans, we inevitably find our identity - to one degree or another - in some form of community. This is what Ed Welch, in his book Addictions, says about how the church helps to shape our identity. (Remember that he's talking about addictions, so here he's explaining how "Being Part of the Body" is a key to change.)

Why make a big deal out of the primacy of the church? Why not go it alone or be helped by other addicts, whether they are believers or not? As is true with all theology, if we neglect what Scripture says about the church, there will eventually be bad fruit. Your chosen instrument of change, whether it is yourself, a Twelve Step program, or the church, will have a significant impact on how you see yourself and how you understand the process of change.

The church changes our identity. Notice the difference between "I'm Jim. I'm an alcoholic' and 'I'm Jim. I am part of the body of Christ. I am part of 'a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God' (1 Peter 2:9)."

For those who have put their faith in Christ, it is Christ himself who unites us and defines us -- not race, financial status, hobbies, interests, or particular problems. Our family -- those closest to us -- are those who have put their faith in Jesus Christ. When our core identity is "alcoholic," "drug addict," or "sex addict," we are saying that our problem defines us, and our church consists of the people who share that particular problem.

postmodern buzz word: "community"

why is it that community is so talked about today? it's talked about as if postmoderns were the first to think of it. i'm not critiquing the rejuvenated desire for authentic community, but i am critiquing the way it is talked about like it has never been discussed before.

dietrich bonhoeffer was a christian martyred during the second world war. he was a pastor and theologian and wrote the little book, life together: the classic exploration of faith in community. bonhoeffer wrote during the height of modernism in eastern europe and yet i bet his book would resonate deeply with postmoderns who are searching for authentic community.

the premise of his book is that community is a blessing and not everyone is so privileged to enjoy it. many christians are imprisoned or ministering in places where there are no or few christians. it immediately makes me think of my friends becoming missionaries in a muslim country where there are less than a dozen known christians in the whole country! they are going in to hostile lands in order to minister to broken people who ultimately hate their message.

but isn't this what jesus did? bonhoeffer writes this:

It is not simply to be taken for granted that the Christian has the privilege of living among other Christians. Jesus Christ lived in the midst of his enemies. At the end all his disciples deserted him. On the Cross he was utterly alone, surrounded by evildoers and mockers. For this cause he had come, to bring peace to the enemies of God. So the Christian, too, belongs not in the seclusion of a cloistered life but in the thick of his foes.

the call of the church is to be scattered among the world. it is only when jesus comes again that scripture tells us we will be gathered together for eternity with christ and one another. until then, it is only by god's grace that we even have local bodies of christians that meet and live life together.

this begs the question...how are we doing? are we living cloistered lives, afraid to rub shoulders with the world? brothers and sisters, this is not the life that christ wants for the church. even though the disciples all deserted jesus he re-gathered them together at his resurrection and then scattered them again into the world where they might proclaim his message. yet even in this scattering, they were united to one another by the holy spirit.

this is why we need christian community - to encourage one another as we live scattered in the world. rather than our communities existing for themselves, they should be existing for the world around us. postmoderns are longing for authentic community. we claim to have what they are looking for. but if we aren't intentional about interacting with the people god has placed in our paths, how can we offer them such a community?

is your christian community a place where you can invite unbelievers into, to be a part of the community regardless of what they might believe about jesus? is your community a place where someone might be able to belong before they believe?

Holding Hands

Who would of thought that lighting a cigarette could be so redemptive? Take a few minutes, and read Jeremy Huggin's thoughtful reflection on "Hands, Holding." I've never met Jeremy, but a friend of mine knows him, and I sure do like the way he writes...

Posts That Matter Most To Me (2005)

I took up blogging in 2005, and just this afternoon I actually went back and reviewed a lot of what I had written. Here are the top 10 posts that matter most to me - this is not to say they are particularly great or profound or anything like that, just that these are points of resonance for me over the past year (so if you read them, you'll probably fair representation of what I've been thinking):

• Evangelism Sucks
• The Hole in My Soul
• Indicative and Imperative
  
• Good Morning God
  
• What is Love Anyway (Part 2)
• My Damascus
  
• Dealing With Lust - The Rest of the Story
• More Sex and the Image of God
• Finding Fulfillment
• Naked & Ashamed

It seems like this might be an interesting meme: Which 5-10 of your posts from 2005 matter most to you? I'll tag Molly, Foolish Sage, and Scot McKnight.