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Friday, March 10, 2006

18 Years

Well, I can't really believe I'm doing this, but I decided to post a rough cut of a song I just finished writing - it's called 18 Years, and it's written as something of a bookend, looking back to where I was at age 18, looking present to where I am now 18 years later. So its a retrospective of sorts - 18 years of music, 18 years of life.

And it's very, very rough (recorded in Microsoft WAV recorder via a little PC mic) - so don't even bother clicking unless you're prepared for all the sordid imperfections this kind of setup implies. For you brave souls who listen, I'd like to hear your impressions. I think. Maybe. Then again, maybe it would be kinder just to say nothing. Hmm...

For those who want the lyrics, here you go...
18 years, finally on my own now,
18 years, and the future's up to me,
18 years, full of dreams and good intentions,
But no one ever mentioned, just how elusive dreams can be,
They are so fleeting, faint, and frail.

Are you lost, weary, heavy laden,
Are you lonesome, looking for something more,
Are you tired, of going through the motions,
What for, what for?

18 years, innocence abandoned,
18 years, and your heart begins to bleed,
18 years, full of fire and vain ambition,
Oh I was on a mission, but all my visions were filled with me,
And I am so fleeting, faint, and frail.*

18 years, since I wrote my first song now,
18 years, and my boy's almost a man,
18 years, full of life that feels like dying,
But I am still trying, trying to learn how to live
And I am still fleeting, faint, and frail

But that is my strength now, yeah that is my strength now... *
Happy Friday...


At 8:26 AM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Dan McGowan said...

As a published songwriter for about 25 years, I know what it's like to lay your heart out there for all the world to see, hear, and comment on.

I want to congratulate you on your courage to share your life with us in song! It's not easy to do!

I hear a little "Tull" in there... influenced by them? All we needed was Ian's flute to round it out!

Nice lyrics and nice song!

At 9:33 AM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Christian said...

Yeah, I definitely have a folk-rock streak in me - CSN, Tull, and the like - mixed w/ a bit of alternative grunge and a fair bit of indian-warpath beat. Thanks for listening... :-)

At 11:36 AM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Brian said...

So what I want to know is: "How in the world do you find the time to do everything that you do?!"

By the way . . . great song!

At 4:33 PM, March 10, 2006, Blogger Christian said...

Brian, here's the sad reality - seminary has just about killed my time for music (to the point where I wondered if I'd ever write anything again). But there's a last-hurrah- coffee-house-gig in the works w/ a friend. So I've been playing a bit. And this just came to me a couple of days ago. My hope (knock on wood) is to get back into this much more seriously when we head to Missoula in the fall...

At 9:45 PM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Scott Reed said...

Awesome, I really enjoyed it!

At 10:10 PM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Molly said...

Hear, hear! I finally got a chance to listen, and I like it, Christian!

At 10:18 PM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Cupcake said...

I listened and enjoyed and even envied a bit. I need to learn to play the guitar!! Great song, Christian.

At 9:29 PM, March 12, 2006, Blogger Christian said...

Thanks guys, you're all very kind.

Music is an interesting thing - especially the home grown variety. It seems to me that as a society, one of the things we don't do much of any more is make music - in some ways, everything has gotten so commercialized that few people want to listen to it unless it sounds like something you'd hear on the radio. And few people want to make it because they know they can't sound like what everybody wants.

And somehow, I think we need to get back to "making music simply for the joy of it" - whether it sounds commercial or not, whether anyone else is ever going to hear it or not.

I sometimes wonder if that's part of the reason music in the church is so lame these days - few people write music anymore. Of course it's not just church music that's lame - most of what's on the secular airwaves is lame as well. I'd sure like to see more people who write like Bob Dylan and Kansas and Rich Mullins... and there just aren't many out there.

At any rate, I'm digressing. All that to say, I'd really like to try and write good music (even when it doesn't always work out). And I'd really like to try and do more w/ my music (even when it doesn't always sound as good as I'd like).

At 6:42 AM, March 13, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've stumbled on your blog only very recently and am not only enjoying it but being nourished by it. I can tell from your posts that we have some common ground (I didn't have the greatest homelife, I'm in seminary, etc.,etc.). I thought maybe you'd like reading lyrics to a song I wrote after I had my first son Lex (like you I can't believe I'm posting this, but its in the comments section, safely hidden :). It was born early in the morning- He was only a few months old and sleeping in our bed. I opened my eyes at about 4 or 5am and he was staring at me. He stared into my soul for about 30 seconds and then went back to sleep. Anyway, for what its worth, here it is:
I woke up this morning, what did I see
You were laying beside me, you were watching me
for those few moments, time stood still
You looked into my eyes, you looked into my eyes

And if I could ask just one thing
it would be to take those things
that you seen on that day
separate the good, from the bad
and make them your own
be a better man
I know its a lot to ask
but please do this one
'cause this is a father's prayer
for his son

As you lay and stared at me, oh the things you must have seen
some probably made you laugh, some were frightening
did you see your mother, and her concern for me
did you see how much I love, how she still captivates me
did you see my faith in God, and his only Son
and all the struggles with my sin, those things buried deep within
did you see the shit I went through, when I was young
I swear I'll never do that to you, your memories will all be filled with love

And if I could ask just one thing
it would be to take those things
that you seen on that day
separate the good, from the bad
and make them your own
be a better man
I know its a lot to ask
but please do this one
'cause this is a father's prayer
for his son

Blessings, Danny Zacharias

At 7:01 AM, March 13, 2006, Blogger Christian said...

Wow, now that's really a compliment - when someone listens to your heart and then turns around and shares their own. Thanks Danny. I like the lyrics you've posted, enough that I want to hear the melody too, SO... how can I hear you sing it??? :-)

(and hey, I'd also like to hear more about your seminary experiences, life struggles, etc. Really glad to have you with us...)

At 11:58 AM, March 14, 2006, Blogger Danny Zacharias said...

thanks for your kindness Christian.

p.s., I noticed you use the phrase "preach the gospel to yourself" a bit. Did you get that from somewhere? I'm reading a book right now, and there is a chapter with that exact title.

p.p.s. did you get my email?

At 4:06 PM, March 15, 2006, Blogger Greg said...

i dig the tune, bro.
thanks for sharing.

At 12:06 PM, March 21, 2006, Blogger Ryan Kellermeyer said...

Cryder Man. Great song. To answer all of the questions in your chorus, "yes." Your words tell my story. Jackson Browne is my favorite songwriter and I fell in love with him for the same reason.

Also, I agree with your comments about music. Think of all the great music that never gets made because of our addiction to major media. Ergo, blogs, podcasts and such rule! Check out my podcast for my own homegrown multimedia endeavors.

Thanks for a great Tuesday diversion.

At 1:43 PM, April 05, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the song,really great. Nice voice too.
Now, like you I am lucky enough to own a Lowden O32, probably the sweetest sounding guitar in the world.
Cheers Bob, London

At 6:27 AM, April 06, 2006, Blogger Christian said...

Yes! A fellow Lowden-ite! Thanks Bob, I appreciate that :-) Played 15 or so songs last night at the coffeehouse, and it went pretty well - I LOVE the way my Lowden sounds when plugged in. If the recording turns out I'll post some links...


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